Archive for the ‘Self Management’ Category

Influencing to the First Power – Yourself

Building on the concept of Active influence KEY POINTS: Self-Awareness The Power of Presence Personal Development Knowing how you can and do impact others through your influence could be defined as a big objective in the concept of Active Influence™. The reality of influencing others "consciously and appropriately" requires that we understand ourselves and the influence we have on our own actions, thoughts, and power. In other words, it requires self-awareness. Especially the power-limiting actions, which are behaviors and habits often hard to disrupt or eliminate.  Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power of Habit, talks about the neuroscience involved in changing our patterns of behavior. He talks about habit loops that become well established in us both consciously and unconsciously. If you have any curiosity about the power of habit loops just watch yourself sometime. I will share one example that is simple and ...

Active Influence™ — Know Your Power

[caption id="attachment_1235" align="alignright" width="176"] Mark Uhlenberg established The Heartwood Group, LLC to actively influence client's outcomes.[/caption] What does “Active Influence” mean and why is it important to achieving results and transformation? Active Influence™ is best described by the words "engaged" and "involved". It is the antithesis of being passive or reactive. As a leader, business owner, spouse, or parent; you can find yourself becoming less engaged or involved with your relationships, employees, teams, and businesses. It may be an issue about some key employees you don’t want to take on or aren’t handling effectively. It could be an issue in the business or industry that causes you to “hope” for something to work itself out when all the signs say otherwise. The reasons are many and recognizing when passivity happens is the key. My experience working in and with organizations over the years is ...

Relationship: The critical element of life

When we think about our lives or the lives of those we know and admire, there are usually qualities or aspects of that person that we appreciate or treasure. It could be they helped us out when times were economically tough or sat quietly next to us at the passing of a loved one. They might be a parent or guardian that built into you values that now in your "ripe ol' age" you can appreciate. They likely disciplined you severely or had a very tough and timely conversation with you to get you straightened out. Maybe forgiveness and a kind word when it seemed undeserved. With so much of our life spent in career and work, often it may be the boss that gave you a chance or talked straight with you when it really mattered. The coworker that helped you finish a project in addition to their work load. ...

Wisdom: Leaving “well enough” alone…

Have you ever heard this or even better had it aimed directly at or to you? "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!" ("For crying out loud" can be added either prior to or after for more emphasis.) "ENOUGH ALREADY!!!" "I've taken all I can TAKE!!! BACK OFF, will ya?!!!" "What is it about NO that YOU don't understand?!!!" "If I've said it ONCE I've said it TWICE...." "What, are you NOT LISTENING or just PLAIN STUPID?!!!" "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!" Was it said in a way (or a tone of voice) that you knew--- you just took a conversation one step beyond what someone could tolerate? I wish with all my heart I could say I haven't done it. Alas, I've been unwise and lacked the sense to know that I needed to just leave "well enough" alone. I am a driven person. My theory is ...

Wisdom: Courage is a fearful experience

December 18, 2013  |   Coaching,Leadership Development,Self Management   |     |   0 Comment

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but here I go. In the Wizard of Oz it wasn't the Scarecrow that got wisdom. It was the "Cowardly Lion"! And I think I can prove it or at least give a perspective on why fear, courage, and wisdom are not separated. In the movie, you may recall all 4 sojourners (the girl, the scarecrow, the tin man, and the lion) have a personal dilemma. Each finds strength in coming together against all odds to achieve the unthinkable...steal the witches broom. Each has their own fear. When they meet up there are varied levels of experiences, this movie is rich in personal courage. Of which I lacked every time those dang flying monkeys came on the screen. I hated those creatures. The witch was a piece of cake, but those monkeys freaked me ...

Wisdom: Wise Guy eh?!…Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!!!!!

December 12, 2013  |   Leadership Development,Self Management   |     |   0 Comment

Larry: "I can't see! I can't see! Its all gone dark!" (in a worried voice) Moe: "What's the matter? Why can't you see?" (alarmed voice) Larry: "I got my eyes closed." (smarty pants, sing songy, whiny voice) Moe: "Wise guy eh?!!" (gruff, growling voice and head bop/doink sound) Not sure using "The Three Stooges" in a conversation on wisdom and leadership happens that often. I love the simple humor in the exchange above with Mo and Larry. The simple fact that we have our eyes closed might be the reason we cannot see. Mo doesn't like the fact that, once again, he's been played a stooge by a stooge. So, as per their shtick...he smacks Larry on the back of the head. Yep, Larry is a wise guy in one sense. He knows how to provoke his partner.

Adaptive Leadership: Self Management – A Tribute to a Mentor

During the writing of this series in Adaptive Leadership I have reviewed some notes and messages from my mentors over the years. One of the persons who has impacted my life is Frederic Hudson, PhD, the founder of The Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. During (and since) my Coaching training it was clear to me that Frederic has dedicated his life to teaching and coaching renewal in adults., He is a role model for adaptive leadership. The note below is an example of how Frederic encouraged us in Coaching Training to "pay attention" to the idea of self management. In this note he summarizes concepts from Peter Drucker's book "Management Challenges for the 21st Century. Written over 12 years ago it is still full of direction and wisdom for being an Adaptive Leader and Coach. I have "bold lettered" some nuggets. Thanks Frederic.

INCLUSION AND COMMUNITY: Conversations of commitment

May 25, 2011  |   Coaching,Self Management   |     |   0 Comment

Lack of results or failed businesses can be traced back to the breakdown in community. –Peter Block Here’s a “burst your bubble” statement: “We are not born with the innate skill to be team players.” Yep it's true, we are born little ambassadors of selfishness and self focus. Almost as soon as we can walk we also start excluding others at an early age… from games to tasty treats. The behavior of exclusion is an inborn "corporate" behavior. Learning to appreciate our differences as a community, to play together nicely, and be inclusive are learned behaviors. These behaviors are coached forward by great parents and leaders. The middle ground in this domain of inclusion and community is a deep chasm. It is not easy to go against our normal nature  and strive to be more "in tune" on collaborating with others. We know that it takes time and focus to build relationships, ...